I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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