i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize