her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN