rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.