I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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