If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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