I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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