dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize