Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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