the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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