I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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