Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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