I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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