Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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