Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
