your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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