they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
