i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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