Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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