I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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