You're my little dorito
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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