Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?