where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You may now shotgun with the bride
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???