Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?