i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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