Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
operation have a gay friend backfired
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I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
whose parrot is this?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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