The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
