after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
