Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize