I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize