Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France