Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
hey u leave my anime porn out of this