yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
