Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
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Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
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Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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