my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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