i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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