I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
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I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor