there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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