so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
