I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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