She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
