i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she smelled like a LAN party
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
