It's just like the Real World with babies
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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