so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
