I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
