if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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