is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.