You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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