But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize