There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
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It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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