I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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