Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize