a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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