She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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